Are You Living By Rules That Hold You Back?

As our early assumptions take root, they evolve into more complex narratives—stories that explain who we are and how we should behave. These stories often solidify into rules we create for ourselves, rules that dictate our behaviour and decisions, sometimes at a deeply unconscious level.

For example, someone raised in a family where praise was tied to achievements might internalise the belief, “I am valued only when I am productive.” This belief transforms into a rule: “I must always be busy to prove my worth.” As an adult, this person may feel compelled to stay constantly active, with any moment of rest triggering feelings of guilt and anxiety.

EFC principles encourage an open perspective, where we observe these self-imposed rules without judgment. By seeing these rules as patterns rather than fixed truths, we create space for new possibilities. We start to notice how the stories we tell ourselves manifest not only in our thoughts but in our emotional and physical states. This awareness begins the process of shifting from rigid constraints to flexible possibilities, opening the door to authentic freedom.

In the following newsletter, we’ll explore how these rules often lead us to perceive certain situations as problems—problems that may not be real but are consequences of the stories and rules we’ve set for ourselves.