Between presents, shopping, family and an on-going pandemic, Christmas and the festive season can provide some interesting challenges. Arguably, this is a time that that polarises the emotions. From deep joy to intense sadness, and everything in-between, Christmas can seem like an emotional rollercoaster.
If this time of year is one that you dread, what can you do to lighten the load, to shift your state, to release yourself from the discomfort?
The first thing we have to do is understand the source of that emotional discomfort. Where does it come from? Does it originate ‘out there’ in the things that are happening all around, or is it created ‘in here’, within the body and brain?
While we know that there is an energy to life and emotions can be contagious, it is useful to remember that our feeling experience is largely created and generated inside us, within body and brain.
What is also useful to remember is that we have an Emotional System Reset that is always working to pull us back towards feeling good. A bit like holding a ball under water that wants to spring back to the surface, it is your mind and thinking that serves to hold the ball under water while your Emotional System Reset is working to pull you back to the surface.
A core principle of Energy-Flow Coaching is that the more we live within the stories in our head (ego-mind), the more we focus on the external, the outside world, the more suffering we generally experience. When we open up to the notion that we are designed to thrive and flow, and take our attention away from the stories in our head, we begin to feel good. By redirecting our attention away from resisting the external towards softening and flowing on the internal, we facilitate a return to feeling good.
How do we apply this principle to Christmas?
Modern life invites us to fixate on external events. We get duped into the idea that the external is what directly causes what we feel inside. The more we think that Christmas makes us miserable, the more likely we are to create that experience for ourselves by getting stuck in our stories.
This is not to say that you should try to persuade yourself that you feel great if your body emotions are telling you something else in the now moment. However, it can be useful to open up to the idea that it entirely possible you could feel good despite external events.
If you are someone who dreads Christmas, could you be open to the idea that it’s entirely possible that you could feel something other than dread?
In EFC we suggest that our feelings are more of a result of how aligned we are with our True Self as opposed to what is happening out there in life. This essentially means that nothing needs to happen in order for you to feel good. There are no conditions necessary for you to realign with your True Self and begin to feel peace of mind.
The critical step is coming out of your mind and the associated stories that come from the mind. As you move into the body with the intention of aligning with your True Self, you tap into your own Energy-Flow. You become more present in the moment and begin to feel the ease and grace that comes with being in the now.
What would it be like if you just knew that all was well, that you could fall back into a knowing that there was nothing to concern yourself with, nothing to worry about, nothing to prove. Just imagine that within you there an Energy-Flow that wants to guide you; you just need to open up, connect through your body and align.
When you follow these steps it becomes much easier to make decisions, choices and actions that feel right for you in the moment, rather than going along with mind-based ‘shoulds’ and ‘have tos’.
I’m not going to tell you to take time for yourself, read a book, exercise more, get fresh air and the like in order to survive Christmas. I’m going to invite you to make choices that feel right for you, whatever they make be. There is no single recipe for success in navigating the festive period. But by attuning more to your own True Self and making decisions from that space rather than getting pulled off track in trying to please others and act from a space of obligation, you will tap into your own innate Energy-Flow and source of wellbeing.
Here’s a tip: rather than letting circumstances dictate how you feel, how could you have more fun in everything you do? How could you live like you really mean it, like you want to have the best experience of every moment. It’s a great little exercise to play with, “how could I have more fun doing this…”. Give it a go and see what happens.
Whatever you are doing this holiday season, we wish you many warm blessings