“I Thought a New Job Would Fix It”… A Story About Why We Feel the Way We Do
Stories from two clients, and the deeper truth beneath them.
Over the past week, I sat with two clients whose situations couldn’t have looked more different on the surface.
Hannah, a senior executive with a brilliant career, told me she “doesn’t feel like herself anymore.”
She used to be happy-go-lucky. Light. Energised.
Now she moves from job to job, each time hoping the next role will bring back the ease and enjoyment she once felt.
But nothing seems to shift the inner restlessness.
Then there’s Daniel, who works in a high-pressure corporate environment where emotional expression is implicitly discouraged.
He recently received difficult feedback from his team — and found himself unexpectedly shaken, replaying it for days, trying to understand where he’d gone wrong.
Two very different lives.
Two very different stories.
But as we explored their experiences, the same pattern emerged.
The Hidden Pattern Beneath It All
We are conditioned to believe that how we feel is created by the external world.
The job.
The team.
The circumstances.
The pressure.
The behaviour of others.
And naturally, we believe the solution lives out there too — in the next change, the next decision, the next environment.
But when the outer world changes and our inner experience doesn’t, we assume the problem must be us.
Hannah said, “Maybe I’m just someone who can’t feel good anymore.”
Daniel said, “I shouldn’t be this bothered by a bit of feedback.”
Yet the truth — the scientific truth and the spiritual truth — is far simpler:
Your emotional life is generated internally, not externally.
Let’s break that down.
Your Body Feels Before Your Mind Makes Meaning
Every emotion begins as a physiological shift:
- changes in the nervous system
- shifts in bio-chemistry
- alterations in perceptual filters
- energetic patterns moving through the body
Only after that does the mind construct a story:
“She meant that.”
“This job isn’t right.”
“This situation is dangerous.”
“I can’t cope.”
What looks like a rational interpretation is usually a predictive, body-led reaction.
This isn’t a flaw.
It’s how human consciousness evolved.
The body leads.
The mind interprets.
And most of this happens outside conscious awareness.
Why You Can’t ‘Just Change Your State’
This is where a lot of pop-psychology advice falls apart.
“Just change your state.”
“Shift your mindset.”
“Think a better thought.”
It sounds empowering — but it’s incomplete.
You cannot override a sensitised nervous system with mental gymnastics.
Not sustainably. Not when the emotional history runs deep.
Not when the body is holding old patterns of threat.
Trying to change your inner state purely through willpower is like trying to grow a tree by tugging on the leaves.
It doesn’t work.
And worse, when it doesn’t work, people feel shame.
“Why can’t I fix this?”
“Why do I still feel this way?”
But you’re not meant to force your physiology into submission.
You’re meant to understand it — and create the conditions for it to settle, soften, and reset.
Where Science Meets Spirituality
There is a deeper part of you — awareness, intuition, consciousness, True Self — that isn’t swept along by the body’s reactions or the mind’s stories.
This part doesn’t try to fix the external world.
It invites you to turn toward your inner world.
When you bring presence to the sensations — the tight chest, heat in the face, sinking stomach, buzzing mind — something subtle but powerful happens:
Presence disrupts prediction.
Curiosity softens reactivity.
The system settles because you’ve stopped abandoning it.
Not because you replaced one emotion with a nicer one.
But because you stopped fighting what was already there.
This is the foundation of genuine change.
Three Practical Ways to Shift Your Internal Conditions
- Attend to sensations before thoughts
When activated, pause and feel the body first.
Where is it?
What’s happening?
Warmth, tightness, pressure, movement?
This teaches the body that it doesn’t need to escalate the threat.
- Treat thoughts as “post-production”
Thoughts come after the body reacts.
They’re explanations, not truths.
“Oh, my mind is building a story around this.”
That alone can dissolve hours of rumination.
- Prioritise presence over problem-solving
Fixing the external world won’t regulate the internal one.
But presence can.
Feel your feet on the floor.
Slow your breath.
Expand your awareness.
Let the moment land.
This quiets the predictive machinery and opens space for something new.
The Takeaway
Hannah’s restlessness wasn’t caused by the wrong job.
Daniel’s hurt wasn’t caused by the feedback.
And your emotional experience isn’t being created by the world around you.
Your internal state shapes the world you perceive.
When you shift the inner conditions — through sensation, awareness, and presence — the external world stops feeling like something you need to control or escape.
This is how people regain clarity, resilience, intuition, and ease.
Not by fixing their circumstances.
But by finally turning toward themselves.